A Quiet Christmas: Finding Peace in a Day I Dreaded
This Christmas didn’t look like the ones in films or on Instagram.
There were no big gatherings, no family no chocolates, dinner or clinking glasses, no gifts and no tree.
For days beforehand, I’d been stressed about spending it alone — convinced it would feel heavy, lonely, or like some kind of personal failure.
But the day arrived… and something unexpected happened.
It was peaceful.
Not forced‑peaceful.
Not “making the best of it” peaceful.
Just genuinely, bloody peaceful.
I still can’t beleive it.
(It didn’t last long but it did last the entire day! And that’s a step in the right direction!)
I didn’t step outside, even though the weather was beautiful. I watched the light move across the room from the comfort of my own space, and for once, I didn’t feel guilty about it. I didn’t speak to anyone all day, and that didn’t feel sad — it felt like a break my nervous system had been begging for.
I dozed.
I watched a film.
I used a foot mask and painted my nails.
I brushed my cats and played with them.
I pottered around doing little chores at my own pace.
I cooked myself a proper dinner — two salmon fillets, roast potatoes, and a fresh salad — and ate it slowly, without rushing or multitasking.
I even read a bit of my book, which felt like slipping into a warm bath.
The strangest part is this:
I’m unemployed right now, and I *never* allow myself guilt‑free days. There’s always that background noise of “I should be doing more.” But today, that voice was quiet. Today, I let myself just exist without earning it.
And it felt… healing.
There was no pressure to perform Christmas. No expectations. No pretending. Just me, my home, my six little furry companions, and a day that unfolded gently, moment by moment.
I thought being alone on Christmas would feel like a failure.
Instead, it felt like a reset.
A reminder that peace doesn’t always come from big moments — sometimes it comes from letting yourself breathe.
This wasn’t the Christmas I planned.
and it wasn’t the one I dreaded either.
But it was the Christmas I needed.
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