herownworstenemy

Tag: narcissism

  • I think i’m strong.

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    by

    Dee
    in

    I would say im strong willed and determined – I think I used to be more so though and I also think that, that determined resilience I once had was the lifelong lack of emotional support, the harsh critiques, the blame,  terrible support, the constant drilling in that it’s “just life”. Yet id get very…

  • Pay attention.

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    by

    Dee
    in

    Pay attention to the people who pause after they deliver you bad news, or say something that is expected to cause you distress. If they cared about your feelings. They would fall over their words to explain comfort or reassure you following what they had to say. OR they would prepare and reassure before they…

  • I don’t want to go, but i need to.

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    by

    Dee
    in

    Im in a really difficult place right now, and I don’t think people realise how heavy this actually feels. I’m packing up a house I still love, a house that’s been my safe place for ten years, and I’m doing it while dealing with a level of emotional turmoil that’s hard to explain. I’m not…

  • New Years Eve

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    Dee
    in

    Well New Year’s Eve is supposed to feel like a reset. Isn’t it? A clean slate? Of sorts? I’d kind of told my self I’d make one last effort. FulFill my obligations. And because of that desire to do the right thing that need deep inside of me to continue playing my part. I found…

  • Christmas Wishes & Relief

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    by

    Dee
    in

    A Quiet Christmas: Finding Peace in a Day I Dreaded This Christmas didn’t look like the ones in films or on Instagram. There were no big gatherings, no family no chocolates, dinner or clinking glasses, no gifts and no tree. For days beforehand, I’d been stressed about spending it alone — convinced it would feel…

  • Further reflection

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    by

    Dee
    in

    Trigger Warning: This post contains references to abuse, addiction, family trauma, fatal accident. Reader caution is advised. I’m scared to write this out loud, scared of what a reader’s perception of me might be for even putting it into words. I want to detach myself from it, and in many ways I already had. But…

  • My dead dads former mistress

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    by

    Dee
    in

    Content Warning: Mentions of animal cruelty (accusations) sexual assault, abuse and drug use. Please take care if you decide to read. I rarely feel able to write anything. I articulate so much in my head, but opening my laptop or even my phone makes my head pound. Still, if I don’t capture this now, I…

  • My Story My ADHD

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    by

    Dee
    in

    Versus narcissism and incompetence My narcissistic mother told me I don’t have ADHD it’s normal not to listen to other people when they’re talking. It was one of many things she dismissed as normal because she was the same. Initially she was doing just that – I’d suggested it was another reason I had ADHD…

  • I wonder…..

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    by

    Dee
    in

    when I changed from an individual my mother was proud of to some else whose genuine personality she was a victim of. It seems most likely it was around the time (whenever that was) that she stopped being the one who received praise for who I was. When it was instead compliments given in my…

  • My Own Worst Enemy

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    by

    Dee
    in

    I’ve called my site Her Own Worst Enemy as it just goes – i’ve used it as various usernames/ aliases for a while now. Its ironic its sarcastic and its me fighting back. My mother (I called her Mum but I struggle to use it now. Even Mother feels too personal!) My Mother used to…